…and I depart alone..

not givin up

“ Curse thee, Life, I will live with thee no more!

Thou hast mocked me, starved me, beat my body sore!

And all for a pledge that was not pledged by me,

I have kissed thy crust and eaten sparingly

That I might eat again, and met thy sneers

With deprecations, and thy blows with tears, –

Aye, from thy glutted lash, glad, crawled away,

As if spent passion were a holiday!

And now I go. Nor threat, nor easy vow

Of tardy kindness can avail thee now

With me, whence fear and faith alike are flown;

Lonely I came, and I depart alone,

And know not where nor unto whom I go;

But that thou canst not follow me I know.“

[…]

The suicide – Edna St. Vincent Millay

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Ashes of Life

Ashes of Life

Love has gone and left me and the days are all alike;
Eat I must, and sleep I will,  and would that night were here!

But ah! – to lie awake and hear the slow hours strike!
Would that it were day again! – with twilight near!

Love has gone and left me and I don’t know what to do;
This or that or what you will is all the same to me;

But all the things that I begin I leave before I’m through, –
There’s little use in anything as far as I can see.

Love has gone and left me, – and the neighbors knock and borrow, And life goes on forever like the gnawing of a mouse, –

And tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
There’s this little street and this little house.

– Edna St. Vincent Millay

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